Quizzing: Prince of Wales

   May 2006 - April 2010

Eat my brains

Tuesday May 2nd 2006

Quizmasters I

Tuesday May 9th 2006


Round One (Pete)

  1. The town of Roslyn in Midlothian has been put on the map by The Da Vinci Code book and movie. It last hit headlines in 1997, when which celebrity birth took place nearby?
  2. What connects next year's UEFA cup, the elopement of Edward Wakefield and Ellen Turner to the writer Thomas Carlyle?
  3. What connects Miss Jean Brodie, the band Primal Scream and the Australian cricketer who recently set the record for the highest innings by a night watchman?
  4. What connects Queen Victoria's confinements, Homer and the abdication crisis?
  5. Why have the molecules Haemaglutanin and Neuraminidase been in the news lately?
  6. According to Ian Fleming, what was the Bond Family Motto? It was later used as the title of a film starring Pierce Brosnan.
  7. What is polydactyly? Famous sufferers include Anne Boleyn and Marilyn Monroe.
  8. Which city in the Americas can be recognised by an abbreviation, one 28th of the length of its original Spanish name?
  9. Leonard Maltin holds the record for shortest ever movie review. What was his comment on 1948s Isn't It Romantic?
  10. The following come from the rulebook of which annual musical contest:
    • Instruments may be electric, acoustic or both
    • Help from roadies is allowed, but backing bands or duets are not.
    • Performers may wear costumes according to preference
    • Competitors take part at their own risk

Round Two (Pete)

  1. Spheno-palatine ganglioneuralgia consists of sudden dilatation of the cerebral vasculature in response to a cold stimulus to the nervous plexus of the hard palate. What is its common name?
  2. Which two of the following are not recognised medical terms: Cheesy sputum; Coffee ground vomit; Nutmeg liver; Pizza face; Redcurrant jelly stools?
  3. William Shakespeare, Telly Savalas and Louis Armstrong all share which distinction? HM the Queen has not achieved this, but is statistically twice as likely as the rest of us
  4. A move is afoot to return Gillespie Road tube station to its original name. By what name has it been known since 1932?
  5. What connects the 1923 FA cup match between Bolton and West Ham to England's 2005 world cup qualifier against Germany?
  6. What is the name given to the region of Manhattan south of Houston St?
  7. What is the fruity name of the memorial garden in Central Park opposite the Dakota Hotel?
  8. UK number ones: what is the only palindromic title by a palindromic artist?
  9. The New Hebrides archipelago gained independence from Britain and France jointly in 1980. By what name is it now known?
  10. He was a legendary striker at Watford in the 1980s, and his name came to prominence again in the late 1990s when it was adopted as a collective epithet by a group of Italian anarchists who successfully hoaxed the media with stories of chimpanzee artists, and then by a group of authors whose novel, Q, was nominated for the Guardian First Book Prize. Who is he?

Beer Round (Pete)

  1. Famous quotations John Donne's Meditation 17 gave us the phrase "No man is an island", and, from the same passage, gave us the title of which Hemingway novel?
  2. Arlo Guthrie's 20-minute long anti-war classic Alice's Restaurant Massacree tells us the story of Thanksgiving in Stockbridge in Which US State?
  3. In Nuclear physics, the term "Critical Mass" relates to the amount of an isotope which must be present for which process to occur?
  4. What did Aristotle define as "An imitation of an action that is serious, complete, and of a certain magnitude. with incidents arousing pity and fear, wherewith to accomplish its Katharsis of such emotions"?
  5. What was the name of the 1983 sequel to Saturday Night Fever?

Round Three (Ivan)

  1. A rare but celebrated event in British politics happened on 27 May 1976 during a debate on the Aircraft and Shipbuilding Industries Bill, and again on 20th April 1988 during a debate on the poll tax. What was the event?
  2. Woodrow Wilson's vice-president Thomas R Marshall announced in a debate in the US Senate in 1917 that 'What this country needs is a good...' what?
  3. Oh decid! Despliega aún Su hermosura estrellada sobre tierra de libres, la bandera sagrada. Why does George Bush object to these words?
  4. Which American economist once wrote: "Under capitalism, man exploits man. Under communism, it's just the opposite"?
  5. Apple Computers founder Steve Jobs is reputed to have chosen that name for his company because he wanted it to appear before another computer manufacturer in the telephone directory. What was the name of that rival company?
  6. What unique record will Reading set when they play their first game in the Premiership this coming August?
  7. Owl-Stretching Time, Sex and Violence, A Horse, a Bucket and a Spoon, A Toad-Elevating Moment and It's.... are just some of the many alternative titles originally considered for which which comedy sketch show?
  8. Who made his debut last week as presenter of the Theme Time Radio Hour US on satellite radio station XM, playing songs about the weather?
  9. Who hosted this year's Oscars?
  10. Give the names of the winter Olympic sports governed by the following federations: (i) FIS (ii) ISF (iii) FIL (iv) IBU

Round Four (me)

  1. Only one country in South America has no territory in the tropics. Which one?
  2. There are only two countries in Europe which are adjacent both geographically and alphabetically. Which?
  3. Which two great liberators of South America famously met in Guayaquil in Ecuador in 1812, each leaving the meeting thoroughly disappointed with the other?
  4. Which TV series is set in Scranton, Pennsylvania, in the office of the Dunder Mifflin Paper Company?
  5. In which South America country does every town have an O'Higgins Street?
  6. Which is the only street on a Monopoly board that is south of the River?
  7. At a diplomatic reception in Lima in 1967, the famously thirsty Foreign Secretary George Brown asked someone if they would like to dance with him. They turned him down, giving three reasons. What were the reasons?
  8. Which is taller, Nelson's Column or the Monument?
  9. In January 1502, Gaspar de Lemos sailed into a bay which he mistook for a river mouth. The location was later the site of a French colony called Antarctic France but is better known today as the site of which city?
  10. Which fictional characters live at the following addresses: a) 29 Acacia Road; b) 23 Meteor Street; c) 52 Festive Road; d) 742 Evergreen Terrace


Tuesday May 23rd 2006

Scotland, all the way to victory

Tuesday June 6th 2006

Mmmmm... we love latkes

Tuesday June 13th 2006

Mr Dr

Tuesday July 4th 2006

Quizmasters II

Tuesday July 18th 2006

Round one

  1. Marcus Bentley's Geordie tones have become horribly familiar every summer since 2000, if you watch what programme?
  2. We aim for 5 a day, Danes 6, the French aim for 10 and the Japanese an enormous 17. An old proverb has it that just one will do. What?
  3. Fernando de la Rúa, Ramón Puerta, Adolfo Rodríguez, Eduardo Camaño and Eduardo Duhalde all held what position between 21 December 2001 and 1 January 2002?
  4. It happened to Lee Trevino in 1975, Jimmy Connors in 1986 and it almost happened to the Cambridge boat in the 1987 boat race. What?
  5. This question was scrapped in favour of one of Oli's spares. I've got no idea what he asked.
  6. Arthur Martin-Leake in the Boer War and WWI, Noel Chavasse in WWI, and Charles Upham in WWII are the only people to have done what?
  7. The Versailles Treaty listed 5 principal allies in WWI - who were they?
  8. Hosts have appeared in the final of 7 of the 17 world cups so far - only one has lost. Who?
  9. What number appeared on Damon Hill's car in the 1994 season - it had only previously appeared once before in formula one?
  10. Before 2006, a) what was the last year neither Brazil or Germany appeared in the World Cup final? And b) What was the last year that neither Brazil, Germany nor the hosts appeared in the world cup final?

Round two

  1. What happened to Franz Urban on 28 June 1914, and Bill Greer on 22 November 1963?
  2. What is unusual about the current president and prime minister of Poland?
  3. Which Northern European capital city boasts a four metre high statue of Frank Zappa as one of its attractions?
  4. It happened in the Russian parliament on 29 March 2005, Taiwanese parliament on 7 May 2004, and has also occurred in the Indian, Japanese and South Korean parliaments, but has thus far never happened in the British Parliament. What?
  5. a) Seal, Patsy Cline, Mark Morrisson, Eternal and Aerosmith have all released songs with what title? b) Name the most recent artist to have chart success with a song of the same name.
  6. Willie Gallagher, Shapurji Saklatvala and Phil Piratin are the only three people to have been MPs representing which party?
  7. Which two catholic bishops act as heads of states?
  8. According to a study carried out in 1970, what did not appear on any British landscape painting at all between 1400 and 1967?
  9. In which city do Italian match-riggers Juventus play?
  10. What did Gyula Horn and Alois Mock do on 28 June 1989, with massive repercussions for European politics?

Beer round

  1. What word is used to describe a state, defeated in war, which then pledged allegiance to the victor although it wasn't directly ruled or colonised? It is also used to des-cribe a person who held land from a feudal lord and received protection in return for homage and allegiance.
  2. Which beer is brewed in Bremen, and also under license in Namibia? The brewery was founded on 27 June 1873, and its logo is a key. It is famous for its Pilsener, brewed with barley from England and hops from Hallertau.
  3. Which Irish actor, born in 1953, first found success in the US in detective drama Remington Steele, and later appeared in films such as Mrs Doubtfire, Mars Attacks and Dante's Peak?
  4. Which constituency did Michael Portillo lose in 1997?
  5. Which Buckinghamshire town, named after a landowning family who had manor there in 17th c., was the site of the collapse of a railway tunnel in 2005 caused by the building of controversial Tesco's store?

Dr. Punctual rides again

Monday August 14th 2006

The Rufus Smalls memorial team

Monday August 28th 2006

Vera, Chuck and Dave

Tuesday September 12th 2006

It’s Pluto you moron

Tuesday September 19th 2006

Hoovering the badger

Tuesday September 26th 2006

Ferrero Roger is late

Tuesday October 10th 2006

Quizmasters III

Tuesday October 17th 2006


Round One

  1. Who said 'Space is almost infinite. As a matter of fact, we think it is infinite' while head of the US National Space Council?
  2. What connects a 1994 single released by the Inspiral Carpets, a brand of car made by General Motors and a gaming console manufactured by Sega?
  3. What piece of music was written by Colin Matthews and released to critical acclaim in 2000, but became redundant on 24 August 2006?
  4. Luis Figo, Zinedine Zidane, Ronaldo and David Beckham are among the players described as what?
  5. Who, in a very successful 1974, saw his band's second album reach number 5 on the UK charts and also co-wrote a paper entitled 'An investigation of the motion of zodiacal dust particles'?
  6. a) What appears on the flags of Australia, Brazil, Niue, New Zealand and Samoa? and b) What appears on the flags of, among others, Argentina, Costa Rica, Japan, Kazakhstan and Taiwan?
  7. What did Opal Fruits become in 1998?
  8. What triggered the mass suicide of the Heaven's Gate cult in 1997?
  9. 'Indian Love Song' by Slim Whitman proves to be the only thing that can kill the aliens in which 1996 film?
  10. Give the Greek equivalents of the names of all the planets

Beer round

  1. What was first used by the Cunard liner 'Slavonia' on 10 June 1909?
  2. In 2003, what did French MEP Francis Carpentier demand be renamed to avoid offending French visitors to London?
  3. Who was the first Spanish formula one driver to win a grand prix?
  4. What words, spoken on 28 August 1963, featured in what is regarded as one of the greatest speeches ever made?
  5. What game show, originally hosted by Jimmy Tarbuck and later by Bobby Davro, was broadcast on ITV between 1976 and 1988?

Round Four

  1. Which three African countries are monarchies?
  2. Which US state originally wanted to call itself Columbia, but was overruled by the federal government to avoid confusion with the District of Columbia?
  3. Brabham's 1978 BT46B formula one car won its debut race but was promptly banned. What was unusual about it?
  4. Which national football team played their first competitive game in September 1990, beating Austria 1-0? The only other team they've ever beaten has been San Marino, although they've drawn with Scotland twice.
  5. If you were in Peru and ate Cuy, what would you be eating?
  6. Bexley, Huyton, Cardiff South-east, Finchley, Huntingdon. What comes next? And for a bonus, what seems very likely to come after that?
  7. Which is bigger, Anglesey or the Isle of Wight?
  8. What is C2H5OH better known as?
  9. Only one of the main characters in Frasier was played by two different actors at different times during the show's 11 series. Which one?
  10. Which four artists have reached the UK no. 1 with 'Unchained Melody'?

Barça beat the bastards

Tuesday October 31st 2006

Two pints of lager and a packet of Polonium-210

Tuesday November 28th 2006

Quizmasters IV

Tuesday December 5th 2006


Round One

  1. Over 60% of the world's lakes are in which country?
  2. Which celebrity, after getting divorced in 2001, said "at least I can wear high heels now"?
  3. What word meaning a violent or turbulent situation is originally the name given to the notoriously treacherous currents off the Lofoten Islands in Norway?
  4. What connects famous film quotes "Beam me up, Scotty.", "Play it again, Sam.", and "Me Tarzan, you Jane."?
  5. Of whom did Ray Bradbury say in 2004, "He is a screwed asshole... a horrible human being"
  6. In 1967, a British government minister said that a suffixed "e" stood for "excellence, England, Europe, and entente" when it was agreed to add it to the name of what?
  7. In which archipelago would you find islands whose names mean strong winds, the palm, the iron and the rubbermaker?
  8. Which film director's career began in 1967 with 'Death of a gunfighter', and has since covered over 60 films including 'The zombie of Cap-Rouge', 'Shrimp on the barbie' and 'Bloodsucking pharaohs in Pittsburgh'? Once described as having a 'facility for scanning faces and extracting sharp background detail', his name is now generally perceived to imply desperately poor quality.
  9. The effect of which drink has been described as 'like having your brains smashed out by a slice of lemon wrapped round a large gold brick'. Unfortunately you'd be very hard pushed to find a bar in London that would serve you one.
  10. Five countries have monosyllabic names in English. Which ones?

Round Two

  1. Named after the Afghan camel drivers who used to provide the only transport along its route, between which two cities does the Ghan railway run?
  2. Which Chinese phrase, an abbreviation of a longer phrase which means "industrial worker's cooperative", is used in English to mean excessively enthusiastic or overzealous?
  3. Who is FLOTUS?
  4. In Thelma and Louise, who played Thelma?
  5. What did Salvador Dali wear to the opening of the International Surrealist Exhibition at London's New Burlington Gallery in 1936?
  6. Which legendary outlaws began their careers in Colorado, moved on to torment the rest of the west, later ranged across the Americas and robbed banks as far south as Rio Gallegos in southern Patagonia, and died in a shootout with police in San Vicente, Bolivia?
  7. In 1972, a crack commando unit was sent to prison by a military court for a crime they didn't commit. Who were they?
  8. What comes, alphabetically, between Germanium and Hafnium?
  9. 99% of all matter in the universe consists of which two elements?
  10. What name is shared by a 1985 George Romero film and a festival celebrated in Mexico on 1 and 2 November?

Debbie Does Dallas

Tuesday December 12th 2006

Washing the worm

Tuesday December 19th 2006

Spiders on crack

Monday January 29th 2007

Quizmasters V

Tuesday February 6th 2007



Round One

  1. By what name is "Jerry's Guide to the World Wide Web" now known?
  2. New York was known as New Amsterdam until 1674 when the British Empire swapped it with the Dutch for what territory?
  3. Who were Bill Medley and Bobby Hatfield better known as? They had a number one hit in the UK in October 1990
  4. Between which two countries did the first non-stop trans-atlantic flight take place?
  5. Which fruit's name comes from an Aztec word meaning 'testicle', has fatty, creamy flesh, is a popular ingredient in salads but is highly toxic to most animals other than humans?
  6. How is an aeolic power station better known?
  7. Which legendary journey took place between 2 October and 21 December 1872?
  8. Which 1983 single had a cover design so expensive that the record company lost money on every copy sold? It sold over a million copies, the biggest selling 12" of all time
  9. Which legendary commentator once said "I don't make mistakes - I make predictions which immediately turn out to be wrong", and coined the slogan 'Made to make your mouth water' for opal fruits?
  10. Which four capital cities lie on the Danube?

Round Two

  1. If you wrote all the Roman numeral symbols in descending order, what number would you get?
  2. Which Smarties colour was withdrawn in 2006 because of a new Nestle policy to only use natural colourings?
  3. Which is the only US state whose border has no straight lines?
  4. If you heard 13 notes which appear during the tune 'Gran Vals' by classical guitarrist Francisco Tarrega, you'd probably feel intensely irritated. Why?
  5. Alfred Hitchcock once said that the length of a film should be directly related to the endurance of the human what?
  6. King George V's last words insulted which south coast town, which his doctor had just told him he'd soon be healthy enough to visit?
  7. What connects the appearance of bubbles of nitrogen in the blood with a 1995 album?
  8. Altogether Now by the Farm, Go West by the Village People and the national anthem of the soviet union are among the many tunes which rip off which piece originally written in 1680?
  9. Which European capital gives its name to a syndrome seen among Japanese tourists, who suffer psychiatric symptoms when confronted by its rude inhabitants and less than fairytale atmosphere?
  10. Which two football league clubs are not named after a town, city or suburb?

Round Three

  1. Catherine Taylor-Dawson stood for the "Vote for yourself rainbow dream ticket" party in Cardiff North in the 2005 general election. How many votes did she get?
  2. A study of why woodpeckers don't get headaches, a device to repel teenagers with high pitched sounds, and an explanation of why the sound of fingernails scraping on a blackboard is so horrific have been among the scientific achievements recently honoured in which awards?
  3. Sweet Sweetback's Baadasssss Song (1971) was the first film of which genre?
  4. Who recently said of his new Holocaust film, "of course it's got nude scenes in it - I'm Dutch"
  5. Peter Nicol recently retired from a sport he has dominated for the last decade but which few people follow. He said "Donald Rumsfeld recently said he plays it every day. I'm not sure that helps". What is the sport?
  6. According to a song released in July 1986, what was simultaneously to be found on the streets of London, Birmingham, Carlisle, Dublin, Dundee and Humberside?
  7. Two questions on Scots poetry: in 1797, Which poet in which work promised "I will come again, my luve,/ tho' it were ten-thousand mile."
  8. And which Scottish poets in which 1988 work were less optimistic, promising only one tenth the distance?
  9. What name is shared, amongst others, by an English fast bowler, the bass player from the Verve, and the actor who originally played Arthur Dent in the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy?
  10. Shilpa Shetty has just won Celebrity Big Brother. Can you name the four previous winners?

Beer round

Tie breakers

  1. NWA's era-defining track Fuck tha Police, supposedly the soundtrack to the LA riots, naturally featured a "Parental advisory: explicit content" sticker on its cover. If all the non-explicit content is removed, leaving just the swearing, how long, in seconds, does the track last? (clue - the original song lasts 5min45s)
  2. How many US presidents owned slaves during their time in office?
  3. How long was the longest screen kiss, between Regis Toomey and Jane Wyman in 'You're in the army now'?

The Evil Patricks

Tuesday March 13th 2007

Mr Imzamam, in the hotel room, with the cricket bat

Tuesday March 27th 2007

Quite funny in parts

Tuesday April 3rd 2007

Campaign to run next year’s boat race on the Shatt al-Arab

Tuesday April 10th 2007

Waiting for Gordo

Tuesday May 1st 2007

Our food from last week still hasn’t arrived

Tuesday May 15th 2007

Smoke me a clipper, I’ll be back for breakfast

Tuesday May 22nd 2007

Quizmasters VI

Tuesday May 29th 2007

Round One

  1. In P&O Ferries, what do the P and O stand for?
  2. Anyone who was reasonably young in the early 1990s is probably familiar with the Russian folk tune Korobeiniki. Why?
  3. Three people with the same name: one died in Cusco, Peru in 1572, another in the same place in 1781, and a third in Las Vegas in 1996. Who were they?
  4. The first president of Zimbabwe passed a law in 1982 forbidding citizens from making jokes about his name. Who was he?
  5. Which countries produce the most a) coffee and b) cocoa beans?
  6. What famous words were spoken in Ujiji on the shores of Lake Tanganyika in 1871?
  7. Halle Berry and Paul Verhoeven have turned up to collect theirs in person but most recipients don't. What?
  8. Where would you find the Spirit of Ecstasy?
  9. Apart from the Vatican City and Rome, the two closest capital cities in the world lie just over a mile apart on opposite banks of the ninth-longest river in the world. Which two capitals are they?
  10. "War and Peace", "Revolutionary Heroism" and "The correct handling of contradictions among the people" are some of the essays which appear in which legendary book?

Round Two

  1. The Cutty Sark gets its name from a line in which poem?
  2. Sgt Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band was released on 1 June 1967, and its first CD release was on 1 June 1987. Why, specifically, was this date chosen?
  3. Following a recipe change, which product was recently announced to be Kosher in London but not in Manchester?
  4. Which actor and comedian, a life-long fan of the Proclaimers, wrote the sleeve notes to their Best of album, and recently helped them score their biggest chart hit?
  5. To mark the 100th anniversary of his birth, Laurence Olivier's Trilogy of Shakespeare films is being remastered. Which English Composer wrote the scores for all three?
  6. Only two people who haven't been canonised have colleges at both Oxford and Cambridge named after them. Who?
  7. What is a. Tahcycardia. b. Dextrocardia. c. Cardiomegaly. d. Acardia
  8. Before Saturday became established as the 'second' day off in the working week, what day did Sheffield steelworkers have off?
  9. Complete the quotation from the Arctic Monkeys: 'Yeah I'd like to tell you all my problem /You're not from New York City, you're from...'
  10. The Territory occupied by the Habsburg empire in 1914 now forms part or all of 12 European countries. Which ones?

Beer Round

  1. According to the 2005 British Resuscitation Council guidelines, by which two word term are the following heart rhythms collectively known: asystole, pulseless ventricular tachycardia, ventricular fibrillation, electro-mechanical dissociation?
  2. In deference to nationalist sentiment, how is the Queen's signature rendered on Scottish pillar boxes?
  3. Which Sex Pistols track tells the story of a young fan having an abortion?
  4. According to R&B act TLC, what is the term for men "who can't get no love from me, riding in the passenger's side of his best friends car, trying to holler at me"?
  5. Which book was first published in London in 1858, and is now in its 39th edition? Illustrations from the original specimens were produced by Dr Henry Vandyke Carter; the current edition has full colour illustrations and is available on CD-ROM.

Round Three

  1. Which spiritual leader's title means "ocean of wisdom" in Mongolian?
  2. Which country's four official languages are English, Mandarin, Tamil and Malay?
  3. Which is furthest east, Santiago de Chile or New York?
  4. This law enforcement body has been the subject of a TV series and three films. Strangely, it was located in Chicago during the TV series but Los Angeles in the films, and one of the officers who had been white in the TV series was black in the films. What is it?
  5. Who was the only female competitor at the 1976 Montreal Olympics who didn't have to have a gender test?
  6. What did former Secretary of State for Overseas Development Reg Prentice do on 8 October 1977 that has not been done since?
  7. Three bands from the 1990s: a) who took their name from a character in 'To Kill A Mockingbird'? b) who took their name from a character in 'The Clangers'? c) who took their name from a character in 'Alice's adventures in Wonderland'?
  8. What did the Czech Republic, Georgia, Montenegro and Serbia do on May 10th his year that they had never done before?
  9. Douglas Adams supposedly bought the first one in the UK, and Stephen Fry the second. What?
  10. Name all the countries in the world which end with -stan

Round Four

  1. Which 1980s gay anthem, which declares the singer's wish to have a man who is "no seven stone weakling or a man who thinks he's a girl", was written by Reverend George Hargreaves, now leader of the Christian Party?
  2. If something that comes from the east is Oriental, what are things from a) the west, b) the north, c) the south called?
  3. Which currently sitting MP was described as "the straight choice" on official party leaflets during the by-election campaign which first brought him into parliament, and was reported in the Guardian at the time to have "romped home with a giant swing" when he won?
  4. Arnold Schwarzenegger first said "I'll be back" in his film, The Terminator. However, he has uttered the phrase in a further six films. Name three.
  5. A recent BBC Radio 6Music poll set out to find out the worst lyrics of any song ever. In each of the following extracts from nominated songs, fill in the blanks, (which can be more than one word):
    1. Des'ree - Life:
      <>I don't want to see a ghost,
      <>It's the sight that I fear most,
      <>I'd rather have a __________________
    2. Snap - Rhythm Is A Dancer
      <>I'm as serious as _____________,
      <>When I say Rhythm is a Dancer.
    3. Razorlight - Somewhere Else
      <>And I met a girl,
      <>she asked me my name,
      <>I told her _________________.
    4. ABC - That Was Then But This Is Now
      <>More Sacrifices than an Aztec priest,
      <>Standing here straining at that leash,
      <>All fall down,
      <>Can't complain, mustn't grumble,
      <>Help yourself to ______________________________
  6. What welsh pop-rap group were responsible for the 2004 single 'your mother's got a penis'?
  7. It is the year 3000. The Psychlos, a race of dreadlocked aliens, are raping Earth of its natural resources to revive their own dead planet. John Travolta plays Terl, the blustering Psychlo chief of security. What film am I talking about?
  8. What links a surface of revolution generated by revolving a circle in three dimensional space about an axis coplanar with the circle, which does not touch the circle, the shape of a popular piece of confectionary and the inner tube of a bike tyre?
  9. Which children's TV series is to be investigated in Poland to see if it promotes a homosexual lifestyle?
  10. Famous last words of characters in Hamlet - name the character:
    1. The rest is silence [dies]
    2. No, no! the drink, the drink! O my dear Hamlet! The drink, the drink! // I am poison'd. [Dies.]
    3. He is justly serv'd. // It is a poison temper'd by himself. // Exchange forgiveness with me, noble Hamlet. // Mine and my father's death come not upon thee, // Nor thine on me! [Dies.]
    4. God 'a'mercy on his soul! // And of all Christian souls, I pray God. God b' wi' you. (dies offstage)
    5. O, I am slain! [Dies]

thelondonpaper – London’s finest free newspaper

Tuesday June 5th 2007

front pagefeature spread

Pope Tony I

Tuesday June 26th 2007

The triple-breasted whores of Eroticon 6

Tuesday July 17th 2007

Only here for the snowball

Monday July 30th 2007

Quizmasters VII

Tuesday July 31st 2007

Round One

  1. The music played at what kind of event is legally defined in the CJA 1994 as "wholly or predominantly characterised by the emission of a succession of repetitive beats"?
  2. What in law is defined as "12 or more persons who together use or threaten unlawful violence for a common purpose and the conduct of them is such as would cause a person of reasonable firmness present at the scene to fear for his personal safety"?
  3. "When you sit with a nice girl for two hours, it seems like two minutes. When you sit on a hot stove for two minutes, it seems like two hours" - which scientist, explaining which scientific concept?
  4. Which highly successful band of the 1990s had to add a definite article to their original name following a legal dispute with a legendary jazz label?
  5. What connects Peter Finch (1976 Best Actor Oscar winner), Jochen Rindt (1970 Formula One world champion) and Mel Carnahan (2000 Missouri senator election winner)?
  6. Bernd Maylander led more laps than anyone except the winner Lewis Hamilton at the 2007 Canadian Grand Prix. What car was he driving?
  7. The name of which vehicle comes from a sanskrit word meaning 'Lord of the universe'?
  8. Who died the day the music died?
  9. Since 1066, which two kings of England/Great Britain have had unique names?
  10. In the three original Star Wars films, four characters use the phrase "I have a bad feeling about this", one of them twice. Which characters?

Round Two

Beer round

  1. Which variety of poker involves players making the best five card hand they can using two of four cards which have been dealt to them, plus three of five community cards?
  2. Which chemical element is the most ductile? One ounce of it can make a thread 80km long?
  3. For what is Hattori Hanzo legendary in Kill Bill?
  4. Who was the queen of all the gods in Roman mythology?
  5. Which band, described by the KLF as the first true stadium house band, had three top ten hits in the early 1990s with What Can You Do For Me, Something Good and Believe In Me?

Round Three

  1. Which country's head of state is known as the Yang di-Pertuan Agong?
  2. Which is further north, Edinburgh or Moscow?
  3. Who is the only person to have two republics named after him? Hint: they are both in South America.
  4. A three-part question about translated country names. Which countries are:
    • the Black Mountain?
    • Land of the South?
    • silver-coloured?
  5. A four-part question about historical names for countries. Which countries are also known as:
    • Lusitania?
    • Cathay?
    • Batavia?
    • Azania?
  6. A three part question. In which cities to the parliaments of the following countries sit:
    • Chile?
    • Bolivia?
    • The Netherlands?
  7. Name all the countries in the world that contain the word Guinea in their name.
  8. Which country has the world's northernmost settlement? and the southernmost (excluding scientific bases)?
  9. Which two islands are connected by the Verrazano Narrows Bridge?
  10. Six parts:
    • Which African country is the Great People's Arab Socialist State of the Masses?
    • Which South American country is the Oriental Republic?
    • Which European country is the Hellenic Republic?
    • Which South American country is the Bolivarian Republic?
    • Which European country is the Most Serene Republic?
    • Which Middle-Eastern country is the Sultanate?

Round Four

  1. The longest running sitcom in the UK first broadcast in 1973 and is now in its 28th series, showing on Sunday evenings on BBC1. What is it?
  2. Does the equator pass through Equatorial Guinea?
  3. Harrison Ford has never done it; Tom Cruise has done it but only once, in Collateral; Marlon Brando did it in every film he made in the 1970s. What?
  4. Famous sufferers have included Winston Churchill and Henry VIII but a family in Newcastle recently claimed to have been hounded from their homes because they were all afflicted by it. What?
  5. Which 1987 one hit wonder named themselves after a vulcan elder from Star Trek?
  6. Which two people have writing credits on both Bittersweet Symphony by the Verve and After the Watershed by Carter USM?
  7. Who become the oldest female singer to reach number one in the UK singles chart in 1999?
  8. In his speech which coined the phrase "Iron Curtain", between which two cities did Churchill say the curtain had fallen?
  9. Which two words have preceded Emmanuelle, Dick, Abroad, Loving and Cabbie in film titles
  10. Day H occurred in Sweden on 3 September 1967. What happened?

Ivan's Bonus Round

  1. Mujeres al borde de un ataque de nervios
  2. Die Braut, die sich nicht traut
  3. Le mystere du lapin-garou
  4. To Return
  5. Der Spion, der mich liebte
  6. L'agent qui m'a tiree
  7. En busca del arca perdida
  8. Les indestructibles
  9. Les affranchis
  10. Tierra de los Muertos
  11. Das Leben der Anderen
  12. La ameneza fantasma
  13. Les girls de Las Vegas

Two pints of espresso and a packet of crisps

Tuesday August 14th 2007

Guns don’t kill people, extreme quantities of cheeseburgers and amphetamines kill people

Tuesday August 21st 2007

Guns don’t kill people, Prince Philip kills people (allegedly)

Tuesday August 28th 2007

Gordon Brown gives us a general erection

Tuesday October 2nd 2007

Prince Philip, in the tunnel, with the white Fiat

Tuesday October 9th 2007

Sod the old git, bring back the ginger pisshead

Tuesday October 16th 2007

Quizmasters VIII

Tuesday October 23rd 2007

Round One

  1. Who were the two winners of the 2007 Nobel Peace Prize?
  2. Which band, writers of a christmas song regularly named as the best ever, took their name from a gaelic phrase meaning "Kiss my arse"?
  3. What lasting contribution to political terminology was made by the French National Assembly of 1789?
  4. What nationality are the following people: Mountaineer Rheinhold Messner? Architect Oscar Niemeyer? Writer Ariel Dorfman?
  5. It was initially founded by a soft porn internet search engine company, and takes its name from the Honolulu airport terminal transfer bus. It's now among the top 10 most popular websites in the world. What is it?
  6. In Italian it's called the snail, in Chinese it's the little mouse, in Croatian it's called the Monkey, and in Danish it's the elephant's trunk. We don't really have a word for it in English, but most people will use it many times every day. What is it?
  7. Which 2006 film featured a villain whose name means 'The number', who suffered from haemolacria?
  8. In which European country would you find a province called Moldavia, a mountain called Moldoveanu, and a monastery called Moldovitsa? Clue: it's not Moldova.
  9. In which European country would you find the breakaway Republic of Pridnestrovie, a pro-Russian enclave whose president is called Igor Smirnov?
  10. Great Britain is the 8th largest island in the world. Name the seven islands that are larger.

Round Two

Beer round

  1. Which country's name comes from the Arabic for 'Land of the blacks'?
  2. Ahn Jung-Hwan, Michael Laudrup, Paolo Wanchope and Gary Lineker have all played football in which league?
  3. In which city would you find the Castello de Sforzesco, Galleria de Vittorio Emmanuele II and the Basilica de San Lorenzo?
  4. The dinosaurs are thought to have become extinct after an asteroid six miles across hit the earth. Off which peninsula does the impact crater lie?
  5. Who was exhorted to join the Caravan of Love in the Isley Brothers' 1985 single?

Round Three

  4. What first was marked by the sale of a book called "Fluid Concepts & Creative Analogies: Computer Models of the Fundamental Mechanisms of Thought" by Douglas Hofstadter, in July 1995?
  5. Lochaber, Sutherland, Lewis, Skye, Bathgate, Linwood, Methil and Irvine all feature in the lyrics of a 1987 hit single, followed by which two words?

Round Four

  1. Who is currently the Crown Steward and Bailiff of the Chiltern Hundreds?
  2. Which national newspaper recently published a correction in which they apologised for having misspelt the word misspelt, twice, in a correction the previous day?
  3. What is the etymological connection between the words television, homosexual, liposuction, neurotransmitter and sociopath?
  4. What is unusual about the theme tune to 'Some Mothers Do Have 'Em'? You might expect the same to be true of the theme to Morse, but it's not.
  5. Which football club played in the Premiership from 1999-2001 but currently lie 19th in League Two, the lowest league position of any ex-premiership club?
  6. Which head of state, assassinated by his own bodyguards in 2001, briefly fought alongside Che Guevara in 1965 before Che said "Nothing leads me to believe he is the man of the hour" and their revolution was abandandoned?
  7. In the Eurovision song contest, what rule, in force from 1966-1973 and 1977-1999, would have prevented Waterloo from winning the contest in 1974 if it had ben in force then?
  8. Which sportsman is Lewis Hamilton named after? And which sportsman is Bryan Habana named after?
  9. Who was the last person before Lewis Hamilton to score a Formula One victory in their debut season? It happened in 2001.
  10. The national airline of Australia is Qantas. What does Qantas stand for?

Offensive and against all sense of British decency

Tuesday November 13th 2007

Barry George doesn’t kill people, guns kill people

Friday November 16th 2007

Two thirds of the team is operating on Bolivarian time

Tuesday December 11th 2007

More evil than Evil Patrick

Tuesday December 18th 2007

The American people don’t choose the president, Chuck Norris does

Tuesday January 8th 2008

In the lead at this stage…

Tuesday January 15th 2008

Quizmasters IX

Tuesday January 22nd 2008

Round Two

  1. Agnes Gonxha Bojaxhiu was born in Skopje in 1910. Who is she better known as?
  2. Where in recent years would you have found Double Bind, Marsyas, Raw Materials, Embankment and Test Site?
  3. What's the only country that borders Russia that has never been ruled by a communist government?
  4. Which band, who've had 20 top 40 singles since 1996, were signed to Creation Records on the condition that they'd speak English when performing live? They had in fact been doing so but Alan McGee could not understand their strong Welsh accents.
  5. What is the smallest country in the world that's not in Europe and isn't an island?
  6. Which government committee meets in times of national crisis in Cabinet Office Briefing Room A?
  7. Barney McGee from the banks of the Lee, Hogan from County Tyrone, Johnny McGurk who was scared stiff of work, and a man from Westmeath called Malone were among the crew of which ship?
  8. In these days of modern technology, mp3 files are everywhere. What does the mp in mp3 stand for?
  9. Which TV programme's theme tune is performed by the Balanescu Quartet?
  10. There are five non-EU sovereign states which use the Euro as their currency, and one territory administered by the UN. Name them all.

Round Four

  1. When the pieces on a chess board are given their normal numerical value, what is the total value of all the pieces on the board at the start of a game?
  2. Where would you find in a column, the sun, the new, the lazy one, the hidden and the stranger? For a bonus point, what would you find below those?
  3. Which former countries had the following internet top-level domains? a) .cs b) .su c) .dd d) .zr
  4. Which Atlantic archipelago takes one of its names from the French port of St Malo, and another from a former scottish royal palace in Fife?
  5. Which biblical phrase epitomises the concept of Lex Talionis?
  6. What is now the largest international airline in the world (ie carries largest number of people on international flights)?
  7. Which island did the Knights of St John rule over before political upheaval forced them to take over Malta?
  8. Which four African countries does the Greenwich Meridian pass through?
  9. What do Blur's fifth album, the Charlatan's fourth, Genesis' 12th, The Smiths's first album and the Levellers' third album have in common?
  10. Which comedy which ran from 1989 to 1998 was written with the rules that the characters would never hug and never learn?

Paxman’s dangly bits

Tuesday January 29th 2008

When Tottenham play Chelsea, wouldn’t it be nice if they could both lose?

Tuesday February 26th 2008

The Administrators of Gretna

Tuesday March 11th 2008

The copper nanotubes

Tuesday March 25th 2008

The forgotten team name #1

Tuesday April 15th 2008

The forgotten team name #2

Tuesday April 22nd 2008

Quizmasters X

Tuesday April 29th 2008

Round One

  1. Between which two islands would you find the Denmark Strait?
  2. Between which two seas would you pass through the Kattegat and the Skaggerak?
  3. Which European capital cities contain the following metro stations: a) Stortinget, Gronland and Holmenkollen; b) Minska, Pecherska and Dnipro; c) Garibaldi, Rome and Stalingrad?
  4. In which European cities would you find the following airports: a) John Paul II; b) Nikola Tesla; c) Galileo Galilei
  5. What connects the River Avon, East Timor, South Australia and Torpenhow Hill in Cumbria?
  6. Great Britain is the third most populated island in the world. Which two islands sustain larger populations?
  7. The top five countries in the world are Canada, Norway, Indonesia, Russia and the Philippines, if you rank them by what criterion?
  8. The longest non-stop scheduled flight in the world covers a distance of 10,314 miles with a flying time of 18h40m. Which two cities are connected by this route?
  9. Three part question about Australia. By what names do non-aboriginals recognise the following things: a) Kata Tjuta b) Yirdaki c) Purnululu
  10. . What's the only island in the world which has two national capitals on it? Which two countries and which two capitals?

Round Two

  1. 1970s film taglines: which films had the following taglines: a) The brother man in the motherland; b) Just when you thought it was safe to go back into the water; c) Being the adventures of a young man whose principal interests are rape, ultra-violence and Beethoven;
  2. On 21 November 1980, 360 million viewers around the world found out the answer. What was the question?
  3. What, in computing, is the Scunthorpe Problem?
  4. Four teams have appeared in a world cup final but not won. Which four?
  5. Which creature's latin name is 'ursus arctos horribilis'?
  6. Which three political parties has Vincent Cable stood as a candidate for in general elections?
  7. Which well known logo is formed from a representation of the semaphore letters N and D inside a circle?
  8. Why did B&Q recently stop selling sonic mole repelling devices in Northern Ireland?
  9. . "You've got to hold and give / But do it at the right time / You can be slow or fast / But you must get to the line" - which 1990 hit single, by which band, and featuring whose rapping skills?

Beer Round

  1. Which Shakespeare play was the first to be performed on television? It was broadcast live from Alexandra Palace in 1937
  2. What newspaper is Pakistan's most widely-read English-language paper?
  3. Which 1997 single featured Tom Jones, Dr John, Burning Spear and Tanny Wynette, amongst others?
  4. What record has been held since 1997 by Wing Commander Andy Green?
  5. What was George Grossmith's only novel?

We only confess after 43 days in detention

Tuesday June 10th 2008

Munster, Leinster and Connacht now also say no

Tuesday June 17th 2008

Roger is later than Gordon Brown is useless

Tuesday July 29th 2008

Morgan Freeman’s deep impact

Tuesday August 5th 2008

Leaving on a midnight tank to Georgia

Tuesday August 12th 2008

Greetings! We are representatives of the estate of the late President Levy Mwanawasa of Zambia, and we have an interesting business proposal for you

Tuesday August 19th 2008

In a world without Don Lafontaine…

Tuesday September 2nd 2008

Sarah Palin’s three Bristols

Tuesday September 9th 2008

A new record for Roger

Tuesday September 23rd 2008

Harry Potter and the Kidney Stone

Tuesday October 7th 2008

We’re all doomed?

Tuesday October 14th 2008

Two pints of Katona blubber and a packet of Iceland crisps

Tuesday October 21st 2008

Quizmasters XI

Tuesday November 11th 2008

Round One (me)

  1. Who said in a recent interview that one of the things he hates most is people who misspell his name? "It's real simple", he said. "Just look at the albums. There's a space in there"
  2. Antonio Romero Monge and Rafael Ruiz, from Seville, have been performing Andalusian folk songs together since the 1960s. They briefly became world famous in 1996. Who are they, and for what did they become
  3. Since records began, the total number of murders in England and Wales has only ever been above 1000 in a year once, in 2003. What caused this?
  4. In April this year (2008), a man was charged with assault after dressing up as Darth Vader and attacking a Star Wars fan who had set up a Jedi Church. He didn't arrive on time for his court case. What did the judge say when issuing an arrest warrant?
  5. What connects Park Street, Bristol, the wall between Israel and the West Bank, London Zoo, and the corner of Highgate Hill and Tollhouse Way (just down the road from here)
  6. In 1991, what was the connection between my car, my cat, my hat, your party, Milan, New York and Japan?
  7. My accent is nonrhotic. Oli, Pete and Stu all have rhotic accents. What defines a rhotic accent?
  8. The heat is on, the time is right. It's time for your to play your game. People are coming, everyone's trying, trying to be the best that they can, when they are what?
  9. Thomas Midgley Jr. was a US chemist who, among other achievements, developed two chemicals, one an additive for petrol, and the other used in fire extinguishers, polystyrene manufacture, and refrigeration. As a result of his inventions it has been said that he has had more impact on the atmosphere than any other single organism in the history of the Earth. What were the two chemicals?
  10. Where in China would you be if you were in places whose names translate as the following: a) North Capital, b) South Capital, c) On the sea, and d) Fragrant Harbour

Round Two (Me, Stu, Ivan)

  1. Who, in 2002, became the first foreigner to be given honorary citizenship of South Korea?
  2. Political parties with this word in their name include an ultranationalist party in Russia, a centreright party in Australia, a centreground party in Japan, and a left wing party in Canada. What's the word?
  3. Which make of Mitsubishi is marketed as the Montero in Spain and Latin America, because its original name means wanker in spanish?
  4. What massive selling early 90s rock album links the films Cool Hand Luke, Vanishing Point and Terminator?
  5. Danny Cipriani has featured regularly in the showbiz columns of the popular press over the last month. His club Wasps, was hammered in their most recent Heineken European Cup game 41-11, but by which club?
  6. Which film, released in 1964, was given the title Hi-Hi-Hilfe in Germany?
  7. Former Atomic Kitten and twice Mum of the Year (2002 and 2005) Kerry Katona has recently undergone breast reduction surgery. According to the Daily Mail how has her cupsize changed? a) from DD to C b) from J to E c) from C to A d) from GG to DD
  8. If you were the capocanonieri in Italy and the winner of the Pichichi in Spain, what would you be in England?
  9. Mexicali forms a conurbation with which US city?
  10. There are seven fundamental units in the SI system. What are they?

Round Three (Oli)

  1. What sinister link is there between Barack Obama, John McCain, Osama bin Laden, Al Gore, Gerald Ford, Ronald Reagan, Bill Clinton, George Bush Sr, Winston Churchill, Jim Callaghan and Fidel Castro?
  2. What is the longest word in common English usage which contains no vowels? (Twyndyllyngs does not count)
  3. Who has the Canadian postcode of H0H 0H0?
  4. The official title of the head of which European country's government's translates roughly as chieftain or leader? (His deputy's title translates roughly as "heir apparent to the chief").
  5. Where is Thatcher Peninsula?
  6. What is the only integer which is equal to its Scrabble score? (Blank tiles not allowed)
  7. Which two continents do not contain the capital city of a monarchy?
  8. According to a leak from the John McCain campaign to FOX News, which of the following continents does Sarah Palin believe to be a country: Europe, Asia, Africa, Australasia, South America?
  9. Who said, of Clint Eastwood, "I like Clint Eastwood because he has only two facial expressions: one with the hat, and one without it"?
  10. Which 1984 movie was briefly listed in the Guinness Book of Records as being the most violent of all time? (It wasn't listed as being the most right-wing - but it could have been).

Give us full marks or we’ll throw our shoes at you – dog!

Tuesday December 16th 2008

How can we possibly think of a team name at such short notice on the coldest day of the year?

Tuesday January 6th 2009

Prince Harry is a ginger twat, and that’s not discriminatory

Tuesday January 13th 2009

Chronic nutmeg psychosis

Tuesday January 27th 2009

The winners of the snowball

Tuesday February 3rd 2009

We still hate Mariani more than we hate Trimble

Monday February 23rd 2009

Quizmasters XII

Tuesday March 3rd 2009

Round One (Pete)

  1. Which celebrity was convicted in December 2008 of falsely imprisoning a Norwegian male prostitute?
  2. The Who's Valentines day 1970 concert at Leeds University, recorded for the ‘Live at Leeds’ Album, featured a complete live performance of which of their studio albums?
  3. Which incumbent Head of State is the first democratically elected woman to succeed another democratically elected woman as head of a modern Western country? Who did she replace?
  4. Which film of 1996 chronicles the 1974 boxing match between Ali and Foreman in Zaire (DR Congo), and won the Oscar for Best Documentary Feature that year?
  5. Which British rock band of the 1970s was fronted by Paul Rodgers and had hits with 'All Right Now' and 'My Brother Jake'?
  6. "It is not a service station, neither is it a political society, nor is it a meeting place for political societies. With all its limitations and failures… it is the best and most benign side of our society, insofar as that society aims to cherish the human mind" What institution was described thus by historian Richard Hofstadter?
  7. The Knowledge requires would-be taxi drivers to memorise some 25,000 streets in Central London. This is defined as a 6 mile radius from what point?
  8. Malcolm Rifkind was probably the most senior cabinet minister to lose his seat in the 1997 general election. Which seat was he representing, and which seat did he go on to win in 2005?
  9. Who once responded to a quip from George Bush (senior) saying, ‘We're just like the Waltons. We're praying for an end to the Depression, too.’?
  10. Three extracts from poems / songs with the same title. What is the title? (bonus points for identifying the poets/ singers who wrote them)
    1. a. But most thro’ midnight streets I hear How the youthful Harlot’s curse / Blasts the new-born Infant’s tear And blights with plagues the Marriage hearse.
    2. Looking for hard work Or credit card fraud / What do you expect from us? We come from abroad
    3. Smoke lingers 'round your fingers / Train, heave on to Euston / Do you think you've made the right decision this time?

Round Two (Stu)

  1. Which 1 of the following jurisdictions no longer retains a right of appeal to the Privy Council? New Zealand, The Republic of Trinidad & Tobago, Jamaica, The Sultanate of Brunei, Montserrat.
  2. Which 1986 brat pack film, directed by John Hughes, notoriously had its ending re-shot after test audiences indicated they wanted the female protagonist to end up with the rich kid who had dumped her (like a bastard), rather than with her faithful best friend.
  3. Excepting Larry Mullen, what do the other three members of U2 have in common with only about 5% of the population of the Irish Republic, somewhat surprising as they grew up in salt-of-the-earth North Dublin.
  4. Match the quote to the Ghostbuster (Ray, Peter, Egon, Winston)
    • I've seen shit that would turn you white.
    • I collect spores, mould and fungus.
    • Mr. Sta-Puft's okay. He's a sailor, he's in New York, we get him laid, there's no trouble.
    • Listen! Do you smell something?
  5. The adult movie actress Aylar Dianati Lei, has recently appeared in a number of mainstream music videos for the Swedish Eurodance DJ, Basshunter. In 2004 she was selected to represent which Nordic country at the Miss World competition (before having her title taken from her when her day job came to light)?
  6. What country currently holds the mens Olympics gold medals in all of the following sports: Rugby, Real Tennis and Golf (for the team event)?
  7. What is unusual about travelling between Kings Cross and Euston on the Victoria Line, and the same journey on the Northern Line?
  8. Complete the original lyric: "Is this the MPLA? Or is this the UDA? Or is this the IRA? And I thought it was the" WHAT?
  9. Who is the famous milliner co-curating the V&A's Hats: An Anthology Exhibition that opened at the V&A last week?
  10. How many points are awarded for each of the following in (i) Rugby Union, and (ii) Rugby League: A) A Try; B) A Conversion; C) A Drop Goal; D) A Penalty Kick

Beer round (Pete)

Round Three (Oli)

  1. Which European country's local government units are called "castles"?
  2. "Independent travel will most likely lead to your death. When being escorted, it is best to be in an armored car or, even better, a Tank. Infantry are highly likely to get engaged in street battles, and an armored vehicle can provide far better protection. At the market you can buy essentials including rocket propelled grenades (RPGs), mortars (80mm and 120mm), 23mm and 30mm antiaircraft guns, and ammunition of all types." This is an extract from the WikiTravel guide to which capital city?
  3. Britain is the world's third most populated island. What is a) the first, b) the second?
  4. Apart from the Home Nations, which is the only national football team of a non-independent state to be a member of UEFA?
  5. Was a) the hundred years war a hundred years long? b) the thirty years war thirty years long? c) the eighty years war eighty years long?
  6. Only two countries in the world still have a currency which is divided into subunits that are not a multiple of ten. Which two? Bonus points for naming either currency or its subunit.
  7. The elections in which years brought the a) biggest, b) second biggest, c) third biggest and d) fourth biggest post-war parliamentary majorities in Britain?
  8. What did Sunderland South do first in 1992, 1997, 2001 and 2005?
  9. What do the following occasionaly heard latin phrases mean?
    1. Decus et tutamen
    2. Tempus fugit
    3. Primus inter pares
    4. Habemus papam
  10. A question about sad bastards:
    1. What are numismatists fans of?
    2. What are vexillologists fans of?
    3. What are philatelists fans of?
    4. What are oologists fans of?

Round Four (me)

  1. According to a recent study by medics at the University of Illinois college of medicine, which appropriately titled 1977 disco hit has, at 103 beats per minute, an ideal rhythm at which to perform cardiopulmonary resuscitation?
  2. Which three letter acronym, in common use since the mid-1990s, contains three times as many syllables as the words it stands for?
  3. What links King John, Elizabeth I, Henry VIII, Juan Peron and Fidel Castro, but not, despite common belief, Galileo?
  4. The towns of Mdina and Rabat can be found in which EU member state?
  5. What classic novels have the following subtitles? a) To say nothing of the dog; b) The modern prometheus; c) A tale of the seaboard
  6. The three tallest statues in the world, each over 100m tall, are in China, Burma and Japan, and they all depict the same person. Who?
  7. What film genre is the Tabernas Desert in Andalucia associated with?
  8. What lasting contribution to financial terminology originated in Sankt Joachimsthal in present day czech republic?
  9. The Hapsburgs were famously and horrifically inbred. How many of Charles II of Spain's great-grandparents were also his great-great-grandparents?
  10. Put the following religions in ascending order of their popularity, according to the 2001 census: Scientology, rastafarianism, mormon, pagan and jedi.

Austrians have more genes in common with crabs than with other human beings

Tuesday March 17th 2009

The shame of finding out your husband watched ‘Ocean’s 13’… twice

Tuesday March 31st 2009

We’re claiming our entry fee back on expenses

Tuesday May 26th 2009

UKIP: the coward’s BNP

Tuesday June 9th 2009

Katie Price’s Moustache

Tuesday July 14th 2009

Quizmasters XIII

Thursday July 23rd 2009

Round One (Stu)

Round Two (Oli)

Beer round (me)

  1. Which long time European dictator's name derived from the Serbo-Croat for “you – that”, in reference to his style of issuing orders?
  2. Who is listed in the Guinness Book of Records as having performed the most stunts of any living actor? Outtakes, including horrible injuries, are shown as the credits roll in all his films.
  3. Who turned down the 1972 Oscar for Best Actor, sending native American activist Sacheen Littlefeather to the ceremony to explain his reasons?
  4. Which former Arsenal and Liverpool footballer, now at Real Zaragoza, had to play several games in 2005 wearing an electronic tag, following a conviction for drinkdriving?
  5. How is singer-songwriter Georgios Kyriacos Panayiotou better known?

Round Three (Pete)

Round Four (me)

  1. A question about musicians.
      a)Who would you find a 5 metre high statue of in Barranquilla, Columbia?
      b) Who would you find a 4 metre high statue of in Vilnius, Lithuania?
  2. What did the Fonze do in an episode of Happy Days 1977? It has given rise to an expression denoting the moment when a formerly acclaimed television programme has gone into terminal decline.
  3. The famous unabomber got his nickname from an acronym used by the police deriving from his two principle targets. What were they?
  4. On the day that Labour leader John Smith died, an episode of which medical drama was cancelled due to the unfortunate coincidence of the series's name?
  5. Which sitcom character's vocabulary was generally restricted to approximately four words, although his first words on screen were the surprisingly eloquent "How did that gobshite get on the television?"
  6. According to the FAQ section of the US Secret Service website, what is the reason that Secret Service agents wear sunglasses?
  7. Who resigned from Cincinnati city council in 1974 after admitting to hiring a prostitute, but returned to the council in 1975 and served as mayor of the city from 1977-78? He subsequently left politics and pursued a much more notable career in broadcasting.
  8. Australian prime ministers Paul Keating and John Howard, Canadian cyclist Louis Garneau, and most recently Michelle Obama have all contravened which unwritten rule of international diplomacy?
  9. The title character from which 1987 cult classic drinks 9.5 glasses of red wine, 1 pint of cider, 1 shot of lighter fluid, 2.5 shots of gin, 6 glasses of sherry, 13 whiskeys and 1/2 a pint of ale during the course of the film?
  10. What is the Icelandic word for birch?

Swine flu reaches the Prince of Wales

Tuesday August 4th 2009

Crouching woman, hidden cucumber

Tuesday August 11th 2009

The 50 year old drug addict paedophile was murdered!

Tuesday August 25th 2009

“We didn’t start it” “Yes you did, you invaded Poland”

Tuesday September 1st 2009

Quizmasters XIV

Tuesday September 8th 2009

Nobody puts Baby in a coffin

Tuesday September 15th 2009

Chas and Keisha?

Tuesday September 22nd 2009

Cream of a crap crop

Tuesday September 29th 2009

Moon, Joplin, Hendrix, Cobain, Gately

Tuesday October 13th 2009

Bouncing elephantiasis woman destroys central Portsmouth

Wednesday October 28th 2009

Sorry for your loss. Yours sincerely, Grodon.

Tuesday November 10th 2009

Our performance tonight will be a rubbish pile of shit

Monday November 23rd 2009

Are you trying to corrupt me, Mrs Robinson?

Tuesday January 12th 2010

Do we have to do this with the lights on?

Tuesday January 26th 2010

We’ve all impregnated our teammates’ exes

Tuesday February 2nd 2010

The Late Roger

Tuesday February 9th 2010

The dead luger’s memorial wall

Tuesday February 16th 2010

How could you fucking do this to us?

Tuesday February 23rd 2010

The unbearable lateness of Wesson

Tuesday March 2nd 2010

Now we know that David Cameron is not a complete wanker

Tuesday March 23rd 2010

Corin Deadgrave

Tuesday April 6th 2010

Which African country has a lowest point that is higher than any other country's lowest point?